Friendship

I've always been interested in making new friends all from over the world. I never really quite understood why the "me" needed to know such a large variety of people until I started observing the it.

Life is meaningless without relationship, the more one is related the more one feels alive. There no reason why this should not be true for the me also.

The me actually likes this feeling of being, of existence, of living. So being related achieves this. On the other side, the me also likes to observe and analyse others and try to decode their existence, personality and life pattern. Each person carries a long story, the me try to understand that story of each and everyone with whom it is related. A book is better understood when read from the beggining to the point where is has been written, not by starting from the 20th chapter. But a book can also be understood if it is known to have followed a same pattern and if only the key chapters are read.

It does not take much time to understand the personality of oneself. One's feelings are expressed through words, whether by listening to one in a conversation or reading what one has written, the essentials can be observed in the same way. Sometimes I have the impression that the me actually accumulates the knowledge of interesting personalities, those that are different from the common personalities of the mass. The mass as we know it, consists essentially of the same pattern, the same routine, the same type of person, the same problems, the same worries, etc. Out of the mass comes a few people who are otherwise inspired. Such a person is interesting to observe, the common one is so predictable. Though those who are otherwise inspired tend to follow the same pattern of the mass, they are very much different when observed deeper within. Today i've known a person who is otherwise inspired but who is at the same time stucked in the routine of the mass. Cebu seems to have its own otherwise inspired ones.

I believe that the story of one is the story of all. Nothing is new, no relationship problem is new, we are only the new ones experiencing it. What is happening to one in one's daily life, happens to many in the world. If one is part of the mass, one would surely follow the same pattern, the one set by society. However different one is inspired, one would eventually need to follow the mass in order to keep relating and integrated with it.

Enter the routine, but realise it, and know how to get out of it from time to time, if not forever...

To be or not to be...

To be is to be related. This is a known fact.

How can we conclude to this fact?
Let us observe it to the root then. Well if I imagine a world with only me living in it, then I would not be sure if this is called life and if i'm living. Why? Because there would be no one to respond to my actions which would have confirmed my existence. The human mind fears loneliness and is always in fear or dying. It needs response to feel secure and living. If we were to be transparent to the world, this would not be living also for the same reason. So basically to know that one is living is to receive response from someone for our actions. If we take this idea further, we would say that relationship is the highest point of existence. The more you are related, the more you feel your existence.

But how does the mind interprete this relationship with others, how does it connect itself to other?
Our human mind builds up everything, from dreams to memories, in forms of images. Whether someone is blind or not, one's mind always feel the need create and visualise an object or idea in terms of images; a 3D representation. Isn't it the easiest way to learn something after all, through graphical representation. Based on this we can see that the mind has huge collections of images, as the mind sees it. Everything is tagged be an image, from the person we love to the simplest flower. But above all, the mind has an image of itself, something it does not often look at. Or it if does, it cares for what it reflects to other image keepers.

How does this interfere with relationship then?
When we meet someone for the first time, the first thing the mind does is to keep an initial image of that person for later reference. Thus the first impression is kept and this is how we see that person. The mind relates to that person through this image. So the mind is related to the image, not the person. Sometimes the image that we have of a person changes subtlely, as we discover new things on him/her or as time goes by. Other times the first impression remains. So each time we see someone it seems that the mind keeps the last record of the person's visual image but at the same time keeps the first record of the person's impression. So based on this, the mind creates a network of relations with images of people and this we call relationship.

Feelings in Relationship
As I mentionned, the mind has an own image of itself. This image is reflected through the ego, the self.
But what happens when someone is hurt, emotionally? The mind sees its own image as being altered, tampered with. The perception of the cause, the object or person(s) causing this alteration of this self image is kept in memory. Since it has hurt the ego, the feeling and the perception that the mind has towards it becomes negative. It has threatened the security of the mind, showing how vulnerable it is after all. This breeds anger, hate, jealousy or fear. The feelings that the mind has towards a negated image.

On the other side, when an object or person brings joy and happiness to the mind. It sees it as a comforting and secure image. The image is praising the mind, the ego, showing is it important and brings about security and making it feels like living. The mind would breed feelings for that image, love, care, affection. The person/object is cherished and the mind hangs onto it until it find other sources similar to it. The mind explores the other sources and seeks more that brings about the same feelings. It is not satisfied with one feeling of wellness, or even if it does, its only temporary...